I don’t know about you, but at times I struggle being a mom of small children. I hope that doesn’t make me a monster and that those of you who are reading will identify with me. I can’t be the only one with this problem. If I am, please don’t comment it will just make me feel worse. But if you do identify with me I encourage you to comment as much as you want. Just kidding I encourage all comments.
All kidding aside, there are times as a mother I do struggle to keep my brain at work. Of course, most of the time motherhood is challenging mentally, physically and emotionally. However, I feel like part of the struggle with small kids is that motherhood is mundane. Think about it, a baby eats, sleeps and needs a diaper change. These three activities basically take over your life 24/7. During my nursing time I really struggle with not going crazy with my thoughts. So often I feel like a milk vending machine rather than a person. I know this time is only for a season, but at times it can feel like forever.
Thankfully my husband has been so supportive in helping me to get out of the house, but there are still times I struggle. This past Wednesday night my darling husband stayed home with our 3 week old while I went to Prayer Meeting with my 3 year old. It was just what I needed. The Lord gave me some new ideas to use my brain for Him while living in this new season of life. So here are my resolves:
1. Work on memorizing the book James while nursing.
2. Listen to sermons online while nursing or during nap time for kids.
3. Engage my 3 year old in more activities with me.
These are just a couple of things I can do to enjoy this time of life and my children’s lives while engaging my brain in the things of God and my family.
Maybe some of you have some activities or ideas that you have used in the past. I would love to hear them.
Excuse my absence, but I took a short break while I finished my last weeks of pregnancy and delivery and I’ve lived to tell about it. So, just to warn you if you are a little squeamish I would caution you before reading further. I am planning on sharing the birth story. I promise I do not get into too many gory details, but what might seem like not that bad to me might be for you.
This pregnancy overall was not too bad. I know others who have had much worse pregnancies than I have had, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it was hard. I struggled with morning sickness way more than with Sophia and was much more uncomfortable. We also had 5 visits to triage at the hospital for leaking fluid that was never amniotic fluid, during the pregnancy. Frequent trips to triage do not make for a relaxed pregnancy.
Also, I had a c-section with my first child so I was praying that I could have my second naturally (also known as a Vback). I was encouraged during my last weeks of pregnancy when I started having contractions. I gained hope that labor was around the corner. However, as soon as the contractions started they would stop. I went past my due date with no signs of labor and so reality began to set it that I would probably be having another c-section. My due date was March 10th and I was scheduled for a c-section the next Friday on March 16th. The doctor’s cannot let you go more than a week overdue when you have had a previous c-section. So, I began walking, praying and everything else I could think of to make the baby come before the dreaded March 16th. On March 13th, I woke up at 7:30am to my water breaking. So excited, I woke Derick and we started to get ready for the hospital. My wonderful parents picked up our 2 year old and we were on our way. Except one thing was missing, the contractions. There were none, at least nothing consistent. On our way to the hospital I just began to pray. I prayed that the Lord would glorify Himself through everything. Whether I get my wish of natural childbirth or via c-section that God would have His way. After all, this year has been a constant lesson that His way is best.
We arrived at the hospital about 2 hours after my water broke and I had only 1 or 2 contractions the entire time. They hooked me up to the monitors for the baby and there were no signs of labor. Then the triage nurses started to examine me and all the tests showed that I still was not leaking amniotic fluid. At this point I really started to think that maybe I was going crazy. I was sure (that unlike the last 5 times) this was not just fluid it had to be that my water broke. But the nurse could not find any signs. They did a litmus test, a microscope test, as well as an ultrasound and all the signs were showing that my water did not break. Thankfully the nurse believed my story and checked the microscope one more time and sure enough it finally showed my water did actually break. I wasn’t crazy after all.
However, because my cervix was completely closed with no signs of labor they told me I had to have a c-section. But God is good and in that moment I was completely at peace to let Him have his way. To be honest Derick and I were so excited to meet our new baby we didn’t care how she came. By 1:01pm Naomi Margaret Scudder came into the world. She was 8lbs 12oz and 20 ¼ in long. Let me tell after hearing that I was glad I did not have to push her out. Although as they were pulling her out I could feel how big she was (not a pleasant feeling). They also discovered during the operation that my uterine walls were very thin and that I had a greater risk of rupture and bleeding out had I gone into labor. God’s ways are best.
We are now home and enjoying our new family of four. Big sister Sophia is adjusting well. She is such a big help and she loves her sister very much. Derick is adjusting well too. Unfortunately because of the surgery I am limited in what I can do, but Derick does such a good job taking care of me and the house. I am truly blessed by God to have such a wonderful family and such a wonderful God who knows me and does what is best for me.